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JD1147

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JD1147

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JD1147JD1147
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 762
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

About JD1147 : "Go away creepers." Apparently that's how you're supposed to start these things.

Melbourne, Australia. LDS.

Master of lame jokes.

JD1147's page activity

Visits<b>ironfey</b> - 13 hours ago<b>QueenaSng</b> - 23 hours ago<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - yesterday at 8:33pm<b>dancingsydney99</b> - yesterday at 6:32pm<b>junegirl63</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:34pm<b>vetgirl23</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 9:01am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:10pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 11:58pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 3:09pm<b>princessalice69</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:39pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:47pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:30am<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:03am<b>Screamalovesong</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Daisyflower89</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 4:21am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:35am<b>CrystalCrew124</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:00pm

JD1147's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

See all of JD1147's badges

JD1147's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (23305)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50492) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42366) - you deserved it (3380)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40099) - you deserved it (16696)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42913) - you deserved it (23921)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36008) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (7064)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42885) - you deserved it (6123)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46023) - you deserved it (8301)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56557) - you deserved it (7951)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49003) - you deserved it (13669)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50861) - you deserved it (5797)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my all-night senior party, I was talking to the blind girl who I haven't had classes with since 9th grade. I unthinkingly opened the conversation with "Nice to see you again." FML

#21167586
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (8903)

On 06/08/2014 at 10:17pm - misc - by It'd be nice to see you too. - United States (Minnesota)



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