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JAMAICANFOO

Offline (the 02/26/2015 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

JAMAICANFOO

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 October 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 200
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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JAMAICANFOO's FML badges

Inception

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Consolation prize

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50 favourites

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JAMAICANFOO's favorite FMLs

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47397) - you deserved it (3500)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

#20966555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (11865)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by InsertPopcicle (woman) - United States

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55979) - you deserved it (12507)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
334 comments

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

#20892597
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40942) - you deserved it (4542)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:27am - work - by peejay6831 (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (3046)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55126) - you deserved it (27665)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (2892)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you deserved it (3957)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55885) - you deserved it (12559)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49632) - you deserved it (3177)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49717) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (6296)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

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