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About J352SAURUS : Um... Hi... My name's Dory... No, I'm kidding, my name's Jess, I'm Australian and, despite what my profile says, I do, in fact, live in Australia. I'm in high school and I'm very interested in languages for some reason unbeknownst to me. I learn Spanish and Italian and I was learning German but I quit, intending to do it again later. I have many interests/hobbies that might make me boring but whatever. I love dinosaurs and Jurassic Park (Hence, J352SAURUS), Disney movies, The Walking Dead, Harry Potter, Grimm, Top Gear, TBBT, reading, writing, sleeping, swimming, making movies, listening to music, derping on the Internet, camping, travelling, video games and loads of other stuff.
Remember that Cedric Diggory was a brave Hufflepuff, Luna Lovegood was a fun-loving Ravenclaw, Horace Slughorn was a caring Slytherin, and Peter Pettigrew was a back-stabbing Gryffindor. Please stop stereotyping.
Also, in my profile picture, I'm in a hut at the Grand Canyon. Just thought you should know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML
Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML
Today, a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonalds and that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him and tried to report me to my manager. FML
Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML
Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML
Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML
Tuesday 3 March 2015