Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Iwtumn

Online | Search for a member

Iwtumn

28Liked!

IwtumnIwtumn
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3489
  • Number of comments : 1006
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About Iwtumn : I read [everything, I don't care if it's a good book or a bad book (well, actually I do care, but I still read the bad ones, because they are what causes me to enjoy the good ones even more), if I can get my hands on it I'll read it], I cook (though I prefer baking... But you can't have cake everyday), I crochet (mostly scarves) and I sleep. And when I have some time left I also work on my degree.
Now leave and do something productive (or stay and enjoy the pictures of my cats)! If you feel like you have something interesting to say you may also leave a message (and you should definitely send me one if you know a good book).

Iwtumn's page activity

Visits<b>Vitrolicz</b> - one hour ago<b>dekomori</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Ilikepie82479</b> - 7 hours ago<b>bigjake</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Supernatural_Sam</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Hieroglyph</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Railworker12</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Steve95401</b> - 19 hours ago<b>WhatTheHeckman8</b> - 21 hours ago<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - 21 hours ago<b>haileyrows</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - 22 hours ago<b>RedneckTrucker20</b> - 23 hours ago<b>zingline89</b> - yesterday at 9:09am<b>EmmaRey</b> - yesterday at 8:22am<b>mwali02</b> - yesterday at 7:45pm<b>ksks1234</b> - yesterday at 10:16am<b>Gauzy21</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:42am

Liked!<b>Steve95401</b> - 19 hours ago<b>ksks1234</b> - yesterday at 4:16pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:55am<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:14am<b>angryo5trich</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 4:55am<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 9:47am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 7:42pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 3:36pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 6:41am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:26pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:06am<b>sirrubberduckie</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:48am<b>HuntersCreed</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:47am<b>nicehotcupoftea</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 6:39pm<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:47pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:00pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:23pm

Iwtumn's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Iwtumn's badges

Iwtumn's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (3378)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31302) - you deserved it (3020)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (7332)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37309) - you deserved it (4682)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (8351)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37356) - you deserved it (10643)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27273) - you deserved it (39137)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (6348)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39833) - you deserved it (6407)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (8301) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59437) - you deserved it (5435)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57618) - you deserved it (4912)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78521) - you deserved it (3861)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

#20770230
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31735) - you deserved it (3123)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by Not Mrs Soprano (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: