Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Iwtumn

Online | Search for a member

Iwtumn

136Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4910
  • Number of comments : 1206
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 35 posted

About Iwtumn : I read [everything, I don't care if it's a good book or a bad book (well, actually I do care, but I still read the bad ones, because they are what causes me to enjoy the good ones even more), if I can get my hands on it I'll read it], I cook (though I prefer baking... But you can't have cake everyday), I crochet (mostly scarves) and I sleep. And when I have some time left I also work on my degree. :)

Now leave and do something productive (or stay and enjoy the pictures of my cats)! If you feel like you have something interesting to say you may also leave a message (and you should definitely send me one if you know a good book).

Also, please don't give my profile a fuck if you want one in return, you'll usually only get one from me if something on your profile made me smile, or if I very strongly agree with your opinions, or if I am in an extremely good mood, or if you have a cat picture.

Iwtumn's page activity

Visits<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - 48 minutes ago<b>Casper___t</b> - 2 hours ago<b>giantsfan2010</b> - 3 hours ago<b>rebelbelle</b> - 8 hours ago<b>nickjt30</b> - 10 hours ago<b>daveydavidson111</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Lct1196</b> - 11 hours ago<b>fastman19</b> - 12 hours ago<b>MrConcise</b> - 13 hours ago<b>daderator</b> - yesterday at 6:23pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - yesterday at 5:55pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - yesterday at 9:31am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - yesterday at 8:11am<b>Cautocracy</b> - yesterday at 3:22am<b>ty1er</b> - yesterday at 1:57am<b>somethingstupd</b> - yesterday at 12:10am<b>Mas8394z</b> - yesterday at 10:55pm<b>xxsakuraxx</b> - yesterday at 8:23pm

Fucked!<b>giantsfan2010</b> - yesterday at 7:02pm<b>Season_D</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:16am<b>britt2daknee</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:32am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:48am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:20am<b>Fymlife</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:56pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:03am<b>Cads1</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:53pm<b>youngmessi252525</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:09pm<b>Xatraris</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:11am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 4:49pm<b>kaseycat</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:36am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:14am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 7:46pm<b>Skulllily</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:14am

Iwtumn's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Iwtumn's badges

Iwtumn's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (3389)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40689) - you deserved it (7381)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

#21124489
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (4692)

On 04/27/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by joe rogan fucking sucks, dude (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (8368)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (10676)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (40791)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (6356)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

#20860751
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39901) - you deserved it (6489)

On 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by no life to fuck :/ (man) - United States (California)

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50336) - you deserved it (8342) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59599) - you deserved it (5452)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part: he was by himself. FML

#20804404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59863) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:09am - intimacy - by amiezingme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76392) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: