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Offline (the 08/26/2016 at 7:10am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7128
  • Number of comments : 1516
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 41 posted

About Iwtumn : I read, I knit, I bake and I drink a lot of tea. Yeah, I'm basically a grandma in the body of someone in their twenties.

Iwtumn's page activity

Visits<b>thunderniron</b> - yesterday at 9:20am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 11:41am<b>thinlinetele</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:10pm<b>ADC_Lover_2011</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 5:22pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 12:57pm<b>Ben_Dover831</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 3:24am<b>Rylai</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:24am<b>RedRiolu</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 7:40pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 4:22pm<b>Becca34</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:04pm<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 2:13am<b>frankmz</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:06am<b>krakalacka</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 11:17am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 3:27am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 2:43am<b>toastbrot</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 2:02pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:50am

Fucked!<b>frankmz</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:06am<b>Ladisa</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 9:27am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 8:44am<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:50pm<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 7:58pm<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 2:41am<b>grifmelo</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 4:45am<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:41pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 5:44am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 6:58pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 12:06am<b>NNOTCHO</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:04am<b>theRonin</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:35am<b>Stachelschaf</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 11:00pm<b>WiredTechnician</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 3:56am<b>FailStaff</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 7:00am<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:00am<b>Dune1988</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 8:33pm

Iwtumn's FML badges

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Iwtumn's badges

Iwtumn's favorite FMLs

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

by Jack / 01/09/2016 at 9:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

by Madridsta / 06/28/2014 at 2:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

by kcountry92 / 11/17/2013 at 10:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my grandma is a well-loved member of a notorious biker gang. Meanwhile, I'm a 32-year-old, single, minimum-wage nobody with no friends to speak of. She's probably getting more action than I ever will. FML

by no life to fuck :/ / 08/30/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband's recent obsession with The Sopranos since James Gandolfini died went a step further into the ridiculous, when he tried to encourage some ducks to land in our swimming pool by throwing loaves of bread into it, while bellowing at them with a 'Noo Joisey' Wise Guy accent. FML

by Not Mrs Soprano / 07/08/2013 at 7:57am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

by DolphinGirl369 / 06/07/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Iowa) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 3:25am / France / Money

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation