Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IworkAt711

Search for a member

IworkAt711

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4676
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About IworkAt711 : I'm tired.

IworkAt711's page activity

Visits<b>Ryan8878</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:58am<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:43pm<b>spursunited</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:32pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:10am<b>marred0</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>RvBCaboose</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:55am<b>Anamynous</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:57pm<b>jules211</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 2:34am<b>FireLightEyes</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:08am<b>NikkiRainbow63</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:32pm<b>danny_c_21</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:14pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:05am<b>Wr12</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 1:26am<b>snorgia</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 1:03pm<b>Gift_of_humor</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 4:36am<b>lunarah</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 7:46am<b>tepovre</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:59pm<b>bossyass</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 7:40am

IworkAt711's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of IworkAt711's badges

IworkAt711's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (16498)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (6590)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (2028)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19978) - you deserved it (2059)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

#20108741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13087) - you deserved it (31611)

On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

#20107826
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (35521)

On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (5788)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (3637)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (5558)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (7379)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27950) - you deserved it (2642)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35684) - you deserved it (4847)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: