About IworkAt711 : I'm tired.
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IworkAt711's favorite FMLs
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by bieberslayer / 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm / United States / Geek
by fabs1171 / 11/29/2012 at 12:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2012 at 8:30am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Intimacy
by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 2:32am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
by spaceforrent / 11/16/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Love
by duhasiangirl / 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed…