Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IvyOswin

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

IvyOswin

12Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 835
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

IvyOswin's page activity

Visits<b>Jenra</b> - one hour ago<b>brookenicolee29</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Laxinitup</b> - 8 hours ago<b>dnice1864</b> - 8 hours ago<b>gurbism</b> - 8 hours ago<b>gis0392</b> - 15 hours ago<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - 16 hours ago<b>ivanfrombg</b> - 24 hours ago<b>14huberzb</b> - yesterday at 5:46am<b>americanafrican</b> - yesterday at 4:38am<b>Solarnaut</b> - yesterday at 3:22am<b>BunchieRules</b> - yesterday at 5:06pm<b>nickortiz100</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:44am<b>Leo619</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:46am<b>plagiarismo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:05am<b>gabix3</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:06am<b>yeahyoutoo</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:20am<b>StevenArmentrout</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:29pm

Liked!<b>ivanfrombg</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Gundai</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:37pm<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:59am<b>ClosetNarc</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:29pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:29pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 11:48am<b>MrCareless</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 8:24am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:25am<b>lilviking</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:45am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 3:42am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:26am

IvyOswin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of IvyOswin's badges

IvyOswin's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML

#21266104
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36464) - you deserved it (9403)

On 09/26/2014 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34233) - you deserved it (4529)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42899) - you deserved it (3861)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44519) - you deserved it (13311)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50345) - you deserved it (4633)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I taught a college course with a group of 30 adults. I was educating them on leadership and gave a 25 minute lecture, with examples like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King, and how they changed the world. Then I opened the forum to see who inspired them. The response? Donald Trump. FML

#20987886
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (4124)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Disappointed Teacher (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53142) - you deserved it (2933)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (63818)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46591) - you deserved it (2773)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52478) - you deserved it (3301)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (9134)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: