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ItsNicoleeeBitch

Offline (the 11/26/2014 at 6:40pm) | Search for a member

ItsNicoleeeBitch

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  • Number of visits : 4048
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ItsNicoleeeBitch's page activity

Visits<b>Bano360</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 8:43pm

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ItsNicoleeeBitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
879 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60472) - you deserved it (634271)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136250) - you deserved it (13430)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was curling my eyelashes in my bathroom and while I was counting to 5 my brother flung open my door. I jumped and ended up ripping out all my eyelashes. Now I have to wait until they grow back. FML

#319307
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79383) - you deserved it (8255)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by CPN (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (79303)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

#299103
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73595) - you deserved it (7072)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10862) - you deserved it (69495)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135406) - you deserved it (20242)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266447) - you deserved it (48399)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

#271992
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18928) - you deserved it (85193)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:35pm - intimacy - by awkwardgayboi (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

#259383
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (56050)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

#250132
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74656) - you deserved it (4652)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:09am - intimacy - by Yulia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

#245096
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46815) - you deserved it (37651)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

#240686
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53705) - you deserved it (69095)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:47am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55527) - you deserved it (17749)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a job interview on my birthday. I had on a shirt and a tie on and I had my Blackberry in my pocket. I was running a little late, so I dashed outside. When I came out of the door, a bunch of my buddies screamed HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and poured Gatorade all over me. FML

#227236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53195) - you deserved it (3248)

On 03/06/2009 at 4:24pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)



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