Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 11/20/2014 at 7:21pm) | Search for a member
About ItsAlice : About meekskalsksl like anyone would read this:
I love sunshine and being outside when it's warm. I love to take photos I do have an Instagram. I hibernate in the winter time and autumn.
I love food. I'm addicted to chocolate.
I stay away from pointless drama and will only fight back if it involves me. I hang out with friends as much as possible. I'm never home. I love going to concerts to hear my favorite artists.
Always on the mobile version! I've been reading FML's for like 3 years. I like to talk to lots of different kinds of people…as long as they aren't creeps!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
Today, I went to the dentist to get a hole in my tooth filled. After the dentist had injected the anesthetic into my gums, she realized that none of the electrical equipment were working. She sent me home. My entire right side of my face is completely numb and swollen for no reason. FML
Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML
Today, I ran into a girl I used to go to school with. We went out for dinner to catch up, and we ended up at my house, watching movies and cuddling. This fantastic and spontaneous date was concluded with several kisses. I dropped her off at her car and drove off. I forgot to get her number. FML
Thursday 19 March 2015