About ItsAUnicorn : Don't judge me for my grammar, English isn't my native language...
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ItsAUnicorn's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML
by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by rain1 / 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML
by frozen solid / 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
by bad luck skier / 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Isitreallythatbad, / 12/22/2013 at 12:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML
by ANONYMOUS -_- / 12/15/2013 at 12:18pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
by a.white / 12/11/2013 at 6:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 2:38am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML
by YouAssholes / 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ballplaya52 / 12/08/2013 at 12:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Cat Ashes / 12/05/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Broke / 12/04/2013 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Money
by helpme / 12/03/2013 at 11:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…