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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1620
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12334) - you deserved it (14172)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (1562)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20623) - you deserved it (1350)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I was trying to make a good impression with my fiancé's friends. After a few hours, I thought all was going well. As I walked to the washroom, I heard, "So what disability does she have? No one can be like that without something wrong in their brain." FML

#21395050
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (2014)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:24am - love - by apparently_disabled - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (1589)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (3445)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (4328)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (28469)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (3393)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (2917)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought my dad was finally showing interest in the business I started last year when he asked about my next event. Nope, he just wanted to know if I would hire his step-granddaughter. Her first question: "So, I won't have to do any like, real work right?" Gee, thanks Dad. FML

#21393221
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (1813)

On 04/13/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25780) - you deserved it (2639)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States



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