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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2788
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16411) - you deserved it (1556)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML

#21449844
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11841) - you deserved it (17916)

On 07/31/2015 at 1:38am - intimacy - by doodoobref - United States (Arizona)

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

#21449719
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (3155)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19431) - you deserved it (1287)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (1834)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (5919)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22742) - you deserved it (1229)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18515) - you deserved it (1239)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (1333)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (1906)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18209) - you deserved it (8659)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19224) - you deserved it (1975)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

#21448923
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (7128)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:15am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (1394)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)



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