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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 2469
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of IsaacAmpora's badges

IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (1618)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15825) - you deserved it (2065)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (1682)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17118) - you deserved it (2614)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (1384)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20692) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21737) - you deserved it (8139)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (1508)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18792) - you deserved it (3963)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21552) - you deserved it (1471)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you deserved it (2244)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (1740)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21681) - you deserved it (1559)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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