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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

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  • Number of visits : 717
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of IsaacAmpora's badges

IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18197) - you deserved it (3204)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18102) - you deserved it (8245)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got out of the shower and walked into my living room to see my sis' and her boyfriend sitting very closely on our family's fairly large couch. I laughed and said, "Look at the happy couple." Then her now ex-boyfriend burst into tears. Turns out they'd just broken up. FML

#21345785
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/28/2015 at 7:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (1985)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

#21344550
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (10470)

On 01/26/2015 at 2:17pm - misc - by boogery - United States

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (3574)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (7571)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by whitebitch16 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (2274)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (2027)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28843) - you deserved it (3596)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (6547)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (3138)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)



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