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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

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  • Number of visits : 996
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of IsaacAmpora's badges

IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (1663)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19771) - you deserved it (1862)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13847) - you deserved it (42056)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (1962)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (2203)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (2040)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (2145)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (11417)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (6580)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
111 comments

Today, my fiance and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (2166)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, my boss called me, furious about how I "never answer my phone", especially when important clients are trying to reach me, and how unprofessional I am. I make very sure to never miss any calls, my boss just keeps giving out the wrong number to people. FML

#21362364
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (1642)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:19am - work - by O (woman) - Sweden



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Friday 27 February 2015

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