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IsaacAmpora

Offline (the 09/15/2015 at 8:58am) | Search for a member

IsaacAmpora

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4111
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of IsaacAmpora's badges

IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I was convinced to face my fears of rollercoasters by a friend. I'm writing this at the highest point of the ride after being stuck over thirty minutes. FML

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML

#21467692
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22505) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML

#21467524
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (3208)

On 09/12/2015 at 2:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

#21467423
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16244) - you deserved it (20790)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by busmonster - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML

#21467264
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (8373)

On 09/11/2015 at 12:20pm - work - by imeanreallytho - United States

Today, I gave blood for the first time, since I'm a universal donor. After it was done, I passed out, woke up, puked, and passed out again. The kind nurses told me I was the worst case they had seen all week. So much for doing something to help others. FML

#21467229
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (1924)

On 09/11/2015 at 9:55am - health - by angelsaredicks (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I accidentally deleted my landlord's pictures of his child's graduation, girlfriend, daughter and vacation when he asked me to delete a video off his phone. FML

#21467052
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12709) - you deserved it (20093)

On 09/10/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by NotThatButton (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

#21466659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (2412)

On 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

#21466251
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (7158)

On 09/08/2015 at 8:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

#21465829
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (2311)

On 09/07/2015 at 8:39pm - love - by SadBride (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

#21465757
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24713) - you deserved it (1693)

On 09/07/2015 at 5:20pm - money - by sadsadboy - Peru

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

#21465748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (2175)

On 09/07/2015 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by annonymous (man) - United States



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