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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 3042
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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IsaacAmpora's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of IsaacAmpora's badges

IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (2616)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

#21461323
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (1531)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - work - by myanmarkaviar (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

#21461314
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17757) - you deserved it (1368)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (1452)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8621) - you deserved it (35494)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

#21460833
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21602) - you deserved it (2276)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18341) - you deserved it (7812)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

#21459683
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Arrkyna (man) -

Today, while trying to lift a weight bar at the gym, I ended up cracking my rib cage and almost passed out. My friend, who was supposed to be spotting for me, couldn't help until the last second because he'd snuck off to flirt with a pair of guys halfway across the room. FML

#21459605
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/23/2015 at 8:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tazed. FML

#21459236
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (5745)

On 08/22/2015 at 8:21am - work - by BryanTazed - United States (Virginia)

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

#21459211
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27735) - you deserved it (1778)

On 08/22/2015 at 6:47am - health - by period pains - United Kingdom (Nottingham)



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