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IsaacAmpora

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IsaacAmpora

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  • Number of visits : 403
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

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IsaacAmpora's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33599) - you deserved it (2252)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25767) - you deserved it (4931)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26235) - you deserved it (6238)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (5639)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my mom told me how lucky I was to inherit her "asymptomatic" periods. It's true, I don't get cramps, bloating or mood swings with my periods. Nope, just excruciatingly painful diarrhea. Thanks, mom. FML

#21318154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27657) - you deserved it (2325)

On 12/15/2014 at 8:23pm - misc - by period_probs (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat let out the biggest moan I have ever heard, while we were both in the living room. My dad heard and accused me of watching porn. FML

#21317874
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/15/2014 at 11:07am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

#21316775
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29307) - you deserved it (2743)

On 12/13/2014 at 1:36pm - misc - by ehxtraordinarily pissed (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (2445)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30694) - you deserved it (3808)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (2184)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24974) - you deserved it (5288)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13271) - you deserved it (33217)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26978) - you deserved it (6669)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after spending a lazy day at home, I went to UPS with my mom to help her pick up a package. While in line, she sent me back to the car because I'm, "an embarrassment to be around" when I'm not wearing makeup. FML

#21314671
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2454)

On 12/09/2014 at 8:56pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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