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Ironfarts's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML
by wth? / 12/13/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love
by bglenney / 08/15/2013 at 5:47am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML
by MarissaKayleen / 08/12/2013 at 6:06am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health
by NO NO NO / 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by cheekychimp23 / 07/24/2013 at 8:03am / United Kingdom / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
by lonely girl / 07/02/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 6:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…