About Invisible_7791 : Ask yourself
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (11644)
On 02/22/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by anonymous -
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5553) - you deserved it (83840)
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21809) - you deserved it (3933)
On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25872) - you deserved it (4545)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (5604)
On 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm - misc - by justmyluck? -
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/17/2011 at 3:08am - health - by clashgurl8449 -
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (27543)
On 02/16/2011 at 7:56am - misc - by rhartnett11 -
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (7612)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6371) - you deserved it (35913)
On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (2446)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (12028)
On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22076) - you deserved it (4370)
On 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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