About Invierno : Screw. Chomp. Brake. Ink.
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Invierno's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML
by carwife / 08/21/2010 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anon / 08/18/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Photagrapher / 08/18/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy
by ScarredEars / 08/12/2010 at 8:02am / United States / Intimacy
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by Drew / 08/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
by girlgirlinsanity / 07/25/2010 at 7:09am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by V / 07/23/2010 at 3:39am / United States / Love
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by YouAREthefather / 03/18/2010 at 12:48pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…