About Invierno : Screw. Chomp. Brake. Ink.
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Invierno's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by urgg / 09/05/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids
Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML
by carwife / 08/21/2010 at 12:13am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anon / 08/18/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Photagrapher / 08/18/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy
by ScarredEars / 08/12/2010 at 8:02am / United States / Intimacy
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
by Drew / 08/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
by girlgirlinsanity / 07/25/2010 at 7:09am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by V / 07/23/2010 at 3:39am / United States / Love
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by YouAREthefather / 03/18/2010 at 12:48pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…