About Invierno : Screw. Chomp. Brake. Ink.
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Invierno's favorite FMLs
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love
by Emma-Louise / 05/20/2011 at 3:46pm / Intimacy
by coldwetnose / 05/09/2011 at 2:08am / United States / Intimacy
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
by Anon / 05/07/2011 at 2:08am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
by littlegirl / 05/07/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by beaverless / 05/02/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
by Username / 05/01/2011 at 4:20am / United States / Intimacy
by Steve.mc / 05/01/2011 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Imrickar / 04/30/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Tweety / 04/09/2011 at 7:40am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 11:15am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…