Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Interwebzombie

Search for a member

Interwebzombie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 July 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 268
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Interwebzombie's last visitors

WeiXinLun

Interwebzombie's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Interwebzombie's badges

Interwebzombie's favorite FMLs

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (6469)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML

#13635
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (7673)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10333) - you deserved it (51534)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18760) - you deserved it (24047)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42098) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16265) - you deserved it (26795)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6040) - you deserved it (45168)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56535) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12831) - you deserved it (5361)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (7239)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14660) - you deserved it (3716)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25571) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5471) - you deserved it (74187)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: