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Interwebzombie's favorite FMLs
by Chicketi / 02/11/2009 at 9:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML
by woo. / 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
by Flubber / 02/07/2009 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
by IntimidatorStag / 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by beerpong26 / 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Noname / 02/04/2009 at 6:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
by Noname / 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by SoClose / 02/03/2009 at 9:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML
by Noname / 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm / United States (Nebraska) / Animals
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
by frankrizzo / 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by pretty princess / 02/01/2009 at 3:55am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
by MichiganExile / 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by jeesh / 01/31/2009 at 6:48am / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…