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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (5088)
On 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by efffmylife - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (3630)
On 02/15/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Salaryman (man) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (4256)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40570) - you deserved it (6412)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (3319)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34618) - you deserved it (4902)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6962) - you deserved it (95875)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64499) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (6415)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (7587)
On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10079) - you deserved it (50160)
On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (4621)
On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (21887)
On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37997) - you deserved it (5067)
On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (26174)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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