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Interwebzombie's favorite FMLs
by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by zac545 / 02/19/2009 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML
by fuckthat / 02/18/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
by silkytaco / 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Hawaii) / Geek
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
by efffmylife / 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
by Salaryman / 02/15/2009 at 1:21am / Philippines (Rizal) / Work
by MLS / 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by shit's weak / 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by abi_vet_student / 02/13/2009 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Animals
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek
by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…