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Interwebzombie's favorite FMLs
by AppoKing / 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by zac545 / 02/19/2009 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML
by fuckthat / 02/18/2009 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by skeletor / 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
by silkytaco / 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Hawaii) / Geek
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
by Noname / 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML
by efffmylife / 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
by Salaryman / 02/15/2009 at 1:21am / Philippines (Rizal) / Work
by MLS / 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by shit's weak / 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by abi_vet_student / 02/13/2009 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Animals
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek
by sober / 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…