Insomnis

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Insomnis

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1593
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Insomnis's page activity

Visits<b>plan_Z</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 11:17am<b>MetalManiacHappy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>samuelee</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:35pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:58am

Insomnis's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Insomnis's badges

Insomnis's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

by EnderHorse / 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

by CatLover / 11/06/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2014 at 7:15am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

by Bad Dad / 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

by JulietMarie / 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

by notatherapist / 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 8:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

by makeyourselfathome / 09/17/2014 at 8:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm / Transportation

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals