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Insomnis

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 6:14am) | Search for a member

Insomnis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 401
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Insomnis's page activity

Visits<b>MetalManiacHappy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>samuelee</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:35pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:58am

Insomnis's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Insomnis's badges

Insomnis's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (4015)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32816) - you deserved it (4446)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32495) - you deserved it (2924)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (4757)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32034) - you deserved it (4005)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39730) - you deserved it (2527)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36465) - you deserved it (7115)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40871) - you deserved it (9487)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (9338) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (10024)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46651) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (9079)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41103) - you deserved it (15334)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (383) - you deserved it (18835)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)



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