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Insomnis

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 7:26am) | Search for a member

Insomnis

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Insomnis's page activity

Visits<b>MetalManiacHappy</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:38pm<b>samuelee</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:35pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:58am

Insomnis's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Insomnis's badges

Insomnis's favorite FMLs

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (4380)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

#21275026
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (2910)

On 10/10/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by JulietMarie - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37632) - you deserved it (4713)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (4004)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (2525)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (6771)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40838) - you deserved it (9481)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41276) - you deserved it (8408) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (10023)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46644) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (9075)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (15332)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (363) - you deserved it (18799)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my drunken self became a vaguely racist poet. I am now the author of a four-page poem entitled "Chocolate Men". FML

#21094789
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (16191)

On 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm - misc - by chocochoco - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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