About InsightfulWish : Yes, yes, go on about how I am just young and idiotic. I'd love to debate you about it anyway!
I love reading FMLs even though they may be extremely inappropriate on occasion. My little sister also has an interest in them, so please pardon the grammatical errors she will make when she makes her stupid comments.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time out of your readings to skim through these paragraphs.
Lots of love,
Allie and Jade
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML
I agree, your life sucks (6096) - you deserved it (62856)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by Sallyfromtheseashore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20897) - you deserved it (37880)
On 06/29/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42368) - you deserved it (2502)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (4874)
On 06/09/2009 at 3:39pm - work - by IronMonkey (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I turned 22. Instead of cutting my own cake, I stood by and smiled at a friend's belated birthday party. She celebrated her birthday two months ago. She decided to have her party on my birthday. No one remembered mine but everyone got her beautiful gifts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56388) - you deserved it (3386)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Singapore
Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (186933)
On 05/26/2009 at 8:22pm - misc - by Jerrrr (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (8981)
On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37754) - you deserved it (8981)
On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I waved at a cute guy when I was leaving Wendy's. I then ran into a curb, spilled my frosty, and hit my head on the steering wheel. I turned around and both the cute guy and his dad were in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10527) - you deserved it (28897)
On 05/18/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by lulabell (woman) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139484) - you deserved it (32530)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139484) - you deserved it (32530)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50239) - you deserved it (39079)
On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49483) - you deserved it (2457)
On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82152) - you deserved it (6573)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14993) - you deserved it (32109)
On 05/08/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by cammy123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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