About InsightfulWish : Yes, yes, go on about how I am just young and idiotic. I'd love to debate you about it anyway!
I love reading FMLs even though they may be extremely inappropriate on occasion. My little sister also has an interest in them, so please pardon the grammatical errors she will make when she makes her stupid comments.
Anyway, thanks for taking the time out of your readings to skim through these paragraphs.
Lots of love,
Allie and Jade
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56528) - you deserved it (7681)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (10485)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38668) - you deserved it (71407)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12001) - you deserved it (25599)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (4574)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51651) - you deserved it (7146)
On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my family took me to a wig store saying I wouldn't feel so insecure about being bald because of my chemo treatments. When I told them I accepted myself and didn't want a wig, they came out and told me THEY couldn't accept it. My own family is embarrassed of me over something I can't control. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76878) - you deserved it (2308)
On 07/31/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by Betrayed (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (3443)
On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43498) - you deserved it (2320)
On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (5638)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (5638)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty Soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63748) - you deserved it (3027)
On 07/19/2009 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by kareed3 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (1422)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (8112)
On 07/08/2009 at 12:16am - love - by lonelyhubby (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59861) - you deserved it (2744)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
