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Insanityconfined

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Insanityconfined
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 329
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Insanityconfined : Hey.
This is my profile, but you know that.
Message me if you wanna talk :3
I definitely am a madman with a box.

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Insanityconfined's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (2561)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

#19109077
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19348) - you deserved it (1729)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by district12 (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21085) - you deserved it (3668)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (5824)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (2098)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6560) - you deserved it (22236)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

#19032094
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (2317)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Falcon - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

#19029338
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16400) - you deserved it (7034)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pauper (man) -

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (6939)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the only thing worse than a psycho, overbearing, controlling girlfriend is a psycho, overbearing and controlling ex-girlfriend. FML

#19007314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (3312)

On 02/06/2012 at 12:50am - love - by bluesox4 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (1373)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50862) - you deserved it (3880)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40565) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

#18951415
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (38767)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:27am - health - by cbad (woman) - United States



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