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Insanityconfined's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Insanityconfined's favorite FMLs
by gabbykinz13 / 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm / United States / Love
by Kayla_Zee_Ninja / 03/07/2012 at 11:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by sdk2010 / 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by ohdang / 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
by badmom / 02/25/2012 at 6:25am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health
Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML
by Bellend / 02/21/2012 at 2:00am / United Kingdom / Transportation
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm / United States / Work
Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
by district12 / 02/18/2012 at 5:22pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous
by Stung / 02/10/2012 at 9:13am / United Kingdom / Animals
by Falcon / 02/09/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in… Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the… Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone…