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Ins3rtEpicName

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Ins3rtEpicName

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  • Number of visits : 284
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:11am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:25pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 1:28am

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Ins3rtEpicName's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41182) - you deserved it (5068)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52332) - you deserved it (7180)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (2720)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42420) - you deserved it (3379)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (6129)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46384) - you deserved it (5580)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (6108)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML

#21160529
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49847) - you deserved it (4118)

On 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46968) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (368) - you deserved it (18806)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

#21037915
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (7472)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45053) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (2228)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (7292)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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