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Ins0mau

Offline (the 08/27/2014 at 4:47am) | Search for a member

Ins0mau

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 September 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1094
  • Number of comments : 561
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ins0mau's page activity

Visits<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:50pm<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:54pm<b>gardenlake</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 5:53pm<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:55am<b>nevergiveinever</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:24am<b>dingoman</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 8:45am<b>hasabo</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 4:53pm<b>andee123456</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:23pm<b>syed121417</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 5:30pm<b>harshallmeim69</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 8:45pm<b>matamo</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 8:57pm<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 7:48am<b>JoseIsAdork</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 2:47am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 12:45am<b>d2d2d2</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 3:58pm<b>WaywardDaughter</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 6:45pm<b>koalabear_55</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:37am

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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Ins0mau's favorite FMLs

Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML

#21019530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38697) - you deserved it (7365)

On 01/06/2014 at 9:25pm - kids - by peepeepainter - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (3829)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, I googled myself in preparation for my upcoming job interview. Turns out there's a girl on Twitter with my name and age who tweets nonstop about getting wasted and being on probation. She won't make her profile private. FML

#20944947
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43829) - you deserved it (3129)

On 11/04/2013 at 7:08am - work - by twitterfailsme (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (3511)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

#20923758
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45523) - you deserved it (5149)

On 10/17/2013 at 7:51am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38330) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43019) - you deserved it (7335)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43656) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59655) - you deserved it (6636)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56434) - you deserved it (15905)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50253) - you deserved it (10637)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62104) - you deserved it (4893)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52835) - you deserved it (9141)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47590) - you deserved it (5032)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)



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