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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About InnocentMalice : I'm a shy geek that enjoy reading books and play games. I really enjoy horror movies and sci-fi. I would love to have a chat with anyone nice.

Been away for a while, sorry.

InnocentMalice's page activity

Visits<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:42pm<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 4:36am<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:50pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:22am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:20am<b>Peeves</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:41pm<b>thepurplewalrus</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 4:56pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:02am<b>rookie3311</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:53am<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:04pm<b>moses1993</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:00am<b>midgetism</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:36am<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:06pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:17am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:48pm

Fucked!<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 1:51am

InnocentMalice's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of InnocentMalice's badges

InnocentMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

by romance sucks. / 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

by chinchilla4404 / 08/02/2011 at 10:17am / United States / Health

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

by twingirl / 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals