Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

InnocentMalice

Search for a member

InnocentMalice

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About InnocentMalice : I'm a shy geek that enjoy reading books and play games. I really enjoy horror movies and sci-fi. I would love to have a chat with anyone nice.

Been away for a while, sorry.

InnocentMalice's page activity

Visits<b>Darkestsoul</b> - yesterday at 3:59am<b>Bretzelife</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:06pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 12:04pm<b>moses1993</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:00am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:34am<b>midgetism</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:36am<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 5:41pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 12:06pm<b>johnfolk</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:27pm<b>Joe_Valdez25</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:17am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:48pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 11:35pm<b>SuperWhoLockGirl</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 5:17pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 3:55pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:45pm<b>SevanaRatchet</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:00am<b>SkittlesGoRawr</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 10:05pm

InnocentMalice's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of InnocentMalice's badges

InnocentMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46091) - you deserved it (4954)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you deserved it (5904)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60225) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9589) - you deserved it (24649)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (66173)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (4932)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20013) - you deserved it (4141)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45689) - you deserved it (3653)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75360) - you deserved it (8408)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134387) - you deserved it (20201)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: