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About IneffableLullaby : I changed this a few times then got bored. So yeah, this is a result of my boredom.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9431) - you deserved it (42039)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (2641)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10523) - you deserved it (24701)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9990) - you deserved it (34270)
On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (3698)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7412) - you deserved it (34784)
On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34706) - you deserved it (2364)
On 06/13/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by Uhh (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my father decided to "prepare" me for the real world by telling me that I'm ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (3603)
On 06/13/2011 at 10:22am - misc - by suze44 - United States (Washington)
Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (8011)
On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States
Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (3713)
On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45419) - you deserved it (5162)
On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11471) - you deserved it (2102)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13203) - you deserved it (1974)
On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (5900)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you deserved it (30712) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
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