Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (yesterday at 8:23pm) | Search for a member
About IndicaPaincakes : I love my boyfriend, 7-6-13❤️
I fight with the Stormcloaks, and am a gifted horseman. When I'm not saving Princess Zelda or Princess Peach, I'm training my Pokémon and fighting zombies whilst I battle for my rightful place on the throne.
Did I mention that I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist?
Will be a Mountaineer of Appalachian State University in the spring. Couldn't be more happy with my life.
"That Hansel is so hot right now"
"Hodor Hodor Hodor hodor hodor Hodor"
I'm livin' with Beorn in the woods
I own the Roxbury.
Pulp Fiction is the best.
Obsessed with System of a Down, Left 4 Dead, and I play Fallout regularly.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML
Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML
Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around the corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced him self to me as the head manager. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML
Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015