Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Inciter

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

Inciter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4697
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Inciter : I'm a 24 year old mother of a beautiful baby boy.

Inciter's page activity

Visits<b>bendywing</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:53pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:50am<b>ginnieminnie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:09am<b>annmarie_124</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:38pm<b>sarahskingdom</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Tiffanywastaken</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:17pm<b>hannahbananahann</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:35am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:55pm<b>I_Gave_A_Cra</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 12:06am<b>MusixLife</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:07am<b>SumBur</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:27pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 12:51am<b>Tigglee</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 12:01am<b>stl_88</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 5:30pm<b>Blackphoenix</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 10:42pm<b>Zeishah</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 6:03am<b>sanchezjesus368</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 9:16am<b>tiril1124</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 3:00am

Inciter's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Inciter's badges

Inciter's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (13402)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (53473)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58204) - you deserved it (4192)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20392) - you deserved it (69104)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (41676)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58615) - you deserved it (7656)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51681) - you deserved it (3537)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56531) - you deserved it (5229)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44891) - you deserved it (3520)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42056) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (69309)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50242) - you deserved it (6718)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50283) - you deserved it (11198)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: