Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Inciter

Offline (the 04/09/2015 at 5:43am) | Search for a member

Inciter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 September 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17191
  • Number of comments : 155
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Inciter : I'm a 25 year old mother of a beautiful baby boy.

Inciter's page activity

Visits<b>ostark</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 1:44am<b>CloudyFromSteam</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:24am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 9:54am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 10:43pm<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 10:49am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:23pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:38pm<b>bendywing</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:53pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:50am<b>ginnieminnie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:09am<b>annmarie_124</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:38pm<b>sarahskingdom</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Tiffanywastaken</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 10:17pm<b>hannahbananahann</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 12:35am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:55pm<b>I_Gave_A_Cra</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 12:06am<b>MusixLife</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:07am<b>SumBur</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 5:27pm

Inciter's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Inciter's badges

Inciter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56694) - you deserved it (4449)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85403) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70632) - you deserved it (21973)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (29126)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

#261877
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56093) - you deserved it (11999)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)

Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

#260115
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59650) - you deserved it (18593)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:53am - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

#256127
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (141262) - you deserved it (6403)

On 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in my backyard scolding my cat. I yelled, "If you can't learn to use the bathroom correctly then I am going to leave your stupid butt out here in the snow until you figure it out!!" Later, my neighbor left me a nasty note about child abuse - she thought I was scolding my son. FML

#255521
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48631) - you deserved it (11104)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:16pm - kids - by flaggurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

#255362
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70227) - you deserved it (2892)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20101) - you deserved it (50357)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35627) - you deserved it (77483)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82626) - you deserved it (8125)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14731) - you deserved it (103053)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom called and told me I got accepted to my first-choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read it, she said, "Oops... uh, nevermind." FML

#252648
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70611) - you deserved it (2634)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: