About Immekel : Me ish crazy :D
likes screamo/metal ^^
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Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (6421)
Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (8489)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (22976)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (22976)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (3640)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (12110)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by cupcakelady127 (woman) - United States
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (49005)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9130) - you deserved it (30958)
On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41124) - you deserved it (3496)
On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26271) - you deserved it (4569)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62309) - you deserved it (11803)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (21060)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed a weird smell coming from my four year old daughter's room. I went to investigate and found she had been using (and hiding) her garbage can as a toilet for when she "can't make it in time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/21/2011 at 8:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I posted an event to have a get together with friends. Most of them put "not attending". I hadn't even set the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (4354)
On 03/21/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by lonely - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (24886)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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