Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Imawhalerider

Search for a member

Imawhalerider
  • Town/Country : Champagne
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1991 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 43709
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Imawhalerider : my poems kinda suck
we twisted our hearts in to an intricate noose, and to get out we need to break our own hearts. we chose to hang together.

the pulse in your veins,
the light behind your eyes.
the feeling of the world in your palm,
the brain just cant comprehend,
the map without an end.
your chains have been broken,
the light blinds you like the darkness has.
but you know whatever you do will be right.
so look in your palm again and you find the answer on the map your heart has always had.

Imawhalerider's last visitors

ireply_wlyricsFedergirl_taylorr_baee_pearlgigglesalexmac222Mini96MyUsernameKatieSomefruitsDevinEleven

Imawhalerider's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Imawhalerider's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59478) - you deserved it (31758)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

#2008725
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56683) - you deserved it (16134)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47988) - you deserved it (7446)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

#1630786
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9962) - you deserved it (54565)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:15pm - work - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (201417) - you deserved it (19793)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12861) - you deserved it (208010)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML

#771501
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127610) - you deserved it (11023)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48830) - you deserved it (300131)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: