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Ima_monster_x3's favorite FMLs
by motherlessbride / 12/27/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by unfortunategeek / 12/23/2010 at 11:13am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting for my food at McDonald's. I watched the most obese, sweaty man sneeze into the chips, wipe his nose on his hand and use his hand to shovel chips into a bag. They were my chips. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (North Yorkshire) / Health
Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 4:40am / United Kingdom (London) / Love
by Random Person / 11/21/2010 at 12:31am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by iheartexes / 11/06/2010 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Love
by idiot / 10/30/2010 at 4:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids
Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
by meegs / 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
by bitten / 05/15/2010 at 1:09am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…