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by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/17/2011 at 12:05am / Miscellaneous
by Roxas / 02/14/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by unlucky dudebag / 01/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
by bittenbyadonkey / 01/28/2011 at 12:23pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML
by thisisme / 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 6:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Geek
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
by Chris / 01/01/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/31/2010 at 4:49pm / United States / Money
Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a… Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so… Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML