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ImJKingYou

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ImJKingYou
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 51
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ImJKingYou's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of ImJKingYou's badges

ImJKingYou's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53733) - you deserved it (22267)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57938) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3731)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (4018)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that due to my obsession with House MD, I seem to have subconsciously developed a limp in my right leg. FML

#19400848
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6793) - you deserved it (24012)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm - health - by spougeineye1 - United States (Washington)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26687) - you deserved it (11095)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

#10841820
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35410) - you deserved it (2869)

On 05/29/2010 at 1:39pm - misc - by thanksmum (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24894) - you deserved it (2881)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (2262)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)



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