ImCody

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Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 12:51am)

ImCody

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 638
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ImCody : Hi, my name's Cody, I'm 16 and I'm Canadian

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ImCody's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML

by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents made a game out of deliberately walking in when I'm trying to masturbate. They even turn on all the hot water taps when I'm trying to do it in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm / Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional) / Health