Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About ImAllFailure : My username says it all! I'M A FAILURE!!!!!! I can safely say that I have had the most FML's in my school. Along with me also being the clumsiest, it's a wonder how I am still here today. But that's okay,right? I mean, if you're not afraid to risk your life being around me, then I can be the most awesome( and frightening) person you have ever met. No, but seriously, I'm only joking, I wouldn't kill you, the most harm from me would be a trip to the hospital. I'm joking, kinda, I sent my friend to the hospital once. Words Of Wisdom: Don't throw darts if someone's in the way!
Hey! If any of my FML's get posted, save them! You never know when I just might DISAPPEAR! So don't pretend that you won't miss me because I know you will miss all of my smart-ass remarks:)
I see that so many people are doing this so here's my e-mail! You know, just in case you need someone to chat with if you have a Mid-Life Crisis!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
Tuesday 3 March 2015