Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ilydarling

Search for a member

Ilydarling

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7045
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ilydarling's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm

Ilydarling's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Ilydarling's badges

Ilydarling's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38944) - you deserved it (7732)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17998) - you deserved it (76378)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8551) - you deserved it (108024)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8551) - you deserved it (108024)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27832) - you deserved it (7322)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (22165)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55957) - you deserved it (8314)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55957) - you deserved it (8314)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

#18198042
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (2308)

On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States

Today, after holding it in for hours, I finally managed to run to the bathroom for a pee. I thought it was impossible for rats to climb up the sewer pipes and into the toilet, but apparently I was wrong. FML

#18192690
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2329)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (8002)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

#18178318
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27787) - you deserved it (1982)

On 11/06/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by hurtsmyears (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML

#18177670
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I picked up a broken piece of seemingly velvety cactus to show my mom. I now have a million microscopic, painful splinters in my fingers. FML



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: