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Ilydarling

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Ilydarling

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  • Number of visits : 8655
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Ilydarling's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm

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Ilydarling's favorite FMLs

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (3655)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (9999)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28648) - you deserved it (9999)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (2385)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55362) - you deserved it (5534) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33459) - you deserved it (5426)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

#18417405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (8796)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Sam - United States

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

#18416702
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (2414)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

#18416702
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30193) - you deserved it (2414)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (4225)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML

#18414681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23147) - you deserved it (4225)

On 12/02/2011 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by Jess49 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

#18401102
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (2283)

On 12/01/2011 at 2:00am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

#18400487
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (3315)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:41am - misc - by AmericanDream (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

#18386574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (1892)

On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML



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