Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ilydarling

Search for a member

Ilydarling

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8752
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Ilydarling's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm

Ilydarling's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Ilydarling's badges

Ilydarling's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42727) - you deserved it (3832)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

#18795812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (2904)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14249) - you deserved it (24523)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (3230)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43632) - you deserved it (7109)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43154) - you deserved it (9137)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28453) - you deserved it (5016)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (8111)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

#18604441
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (4425)

On 12/25/2011 at 2:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28315) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (4987)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (3051)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42693) - you deserved it (5103)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's post-Christmas debriefing
  • Thank tinselled-Christ that that's finished! Christmas 2014 is finally over. We can finally stop grumbling about the endless songs about snow, put the presents away in a closet (or a dumpster) and…

Friday 26 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: