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Ilydarling

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Ilydarling

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  • Number of visits : 7498
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Ilydarling's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:11pm

Ilydarling's FML badges

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Ilydarling's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (18082)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (28335)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (2167)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (29459)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

#19161997
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (2054)

On 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands British

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (2381)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (2381)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (32577)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20860) - you deserved it (24593)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32111) - you deserved it (4983)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

#19094213
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43247) - you deserved it (2831)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15757) - you deserved it (29102)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (4967)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

#18854508
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39506) - you deserved it (3871) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by elite -



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