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Mobility
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Beginner
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5962) - you deserved it (640)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9067) - you deserved it (839)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)
Today, I got so bored that I ordered my DVD drawer from awesomest to non-awesomest. I need a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9821) - you deserved it (4016)
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (2666)
On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7886) - you deserved it (4284)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (692)
On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I watched as my step-dad put locks on my window, because he's convinced that I've been sneaking out at night. All my mom did was casually remark that I'm fucked if there's ever a fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8018) - you deserved it (879)
On 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Rapunzel (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20055) - you deserved it (3166)
On 03/18/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by pwib - United States (California)
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you deserved it (1247)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)
Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7697) - you deserved it (1289)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (3179)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (10357)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (6389)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2736) - you deserved it (7264)
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (1377)
On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)
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