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Ilikeurfmls

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

Ilikeurfmls

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4638
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ilikeurfmls : Butts

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Ilikeurfmls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

#1035901
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78430) - you deserved it (6186)

On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37103) - you deserved it (90414)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55273) - you deserved it (8876)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

#810439
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52131) - you deserved it (18822)

On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176821) - you deserved it (11885)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78999) - you deserved it (163269)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

#657715
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66279) - you deserved it (12642)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:07am - love - by Anon. (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227273) - you deserved it (15043)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

#480695
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (94328)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

#480695
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16381) - you deserved it (94328)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

#458793
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9894) - you deserved it (90008)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by skywayavenue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71992) - you deserved it (28272)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80729) - you deserved it (5676)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

#245374
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66494) - you deserved it (21567)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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