Ilikeurfmls

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 12:58pm)

Ilikeurfmls

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10976
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ilikeurfmls : Butts

Ilikeurfmls's page activity

Visits<b>justarandomalien</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:38pm<b>Maximusmime</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:03pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 7:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 12:33pm<b>cmat84</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:48am<b>kbnaamany</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 1:56pm<b>CringePotato</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:50pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:56pm<b>jen1097</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 11:46am<b>thatonekidalex33</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:56am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:31pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:51pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:18pm<b>cloco87</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 4:56am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:18pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 8:41am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 4:39pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:02pm

Fucked!<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 6:33pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:58pm

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Ilikeurfmls's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

by RotoRooter / 04/17/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML

by Kelavmeister / 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

by blizzard_of_77 / 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

by Shnur / 04/05/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 1:04am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, for my girlfriend's birthday, I got her an external hard drive and my grandmother's engagement ring. When she opened both boxes, I took her hand and looked deep in her eyes and told her to pick whichever she wanted. She took the external hard drive, even though she already has one. FML

by Anon. / 03/28/2009 at 4:07am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML

by Truan / 03/25/2009 at 5:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

by StephD / 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

by StephD / 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my friend's house. While she went to the kitchen, I noticed a little pink pastry on her desk. It looked really good, so I decided to take a bite before she got back. As I bit into it, a sizzling noise started, and foam overflowed in my mouth. It was a bath bomb. FML

by skywayavenue / 03/19/2009 at 1:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

by Jon / 03/14/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous