Ilikeurfmls

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 12:58pm)

Ilikeurfmls

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12764
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Ilikeurfmls : Butts

Ilikeurfmls's page activity

Visits<b>bakry</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 9:48am<b>Wolverine48Ga</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 9:59pm<b>justarandomalien</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:38pm<b>Maximusmime</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 4:03pm<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 7:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 12:33pm<b>cmat84</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 7:48am<b>kbnaamany</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 1:56pm<b>CringePotato</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:50pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:56pm<b>jen1097</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 11:46am<b>thatonekidalex33</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:56am<b>TyroneLeBron</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:31pm<b>Life_sucksXx</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:51pm<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:18pm<b>cloco87</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 4:56am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:18pm<b>stereofeathers</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 8:41am

Fucked!<b>Jonjon554</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:21am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 6:33pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 10:56pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:58pm

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Ilikeurfmls's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health

Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML

by hatelittleboys / 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

by loser / 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

by laurwitharawr / 10/06/2009 at 8:08am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I drove my cousin to her wedding. The photographer said I was too ugly for the official photos so they searched the crowd for a good looking guy to pose as the driver in my new car. No one in the crowd stopped to defend me. My mom told me it's my own fault. FML

by CapeRanger / 10/04/2009 at 2:13pm / South Africa (Limpopo) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

by JuicyJohn / 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML

by firefighter / 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I began my job as an intern at a high school. I saw one of the students looked very familiar, and I couldn't remember from where. Then I figured it out, I had hooked up with him at a club last week. He's a junior in high school, I'm in my last year of college. FML

by akward / 09/04/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

by hoboman / 09/02/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

by pussyOUT / 09/01/2009 at 2:30am / United States / Health

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

by LGFLIPSTER / 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

by Stripperofthemall / 08/25/2009 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous