Iknoweverything

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/29/2014 at 12:16am)

Iknoweverything

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 November 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5308
  • Number of comments : 421
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 108 posted

About Iknoweverything : 1)My username was made because I believe in looking up thoughts before stating them as fact. Yes, I know I don't know everything. Clearly it was a bad choice, and I can't change it, so get over it.
2)Life is not black or white. You may see things one way, I may see it completely different. This does not make one of us wrong, but rather offers different perspectives. Most people on here don't seem to understand that. Just because you have a gut feeling doesn't mean it's right.
3)I don't believe "you're a dumbass" is a valid rebuttal. If you think I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong. Attacking me because you disagree is merely fallacious. (It's called the ad hominem fallacy)
4)"Break up with the jerk" and "Quit your job" is nice in theory. In reality, OP's may love their jerks, and probably have bills to pay.
5)I rarely read responses to my comments. If you wish to insult me, hit me up on the private messenger. I need entertainment.

Iknoweverything's page activity

Visits<b>EvilKaa</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:22am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:13am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:31pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>Whovian42</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:42pm<b>Kroyt</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 5:59pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:14pm<b>dbyrne20</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:55am<b>melons</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:34pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:48am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>hatebreeder666</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:58am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:19pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:22am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:10am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:56am

Iknoweverything's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Iknoweverything's badges

Iknoweverything's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

by whymyliferose / 06/03/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

by satisfied88 / 06/02/2011 at 10:49am / Intimacy

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

by katie / 05/25/2011 at 4:23am / Intimacy

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

by foolmetwice / 05/16/2011 at 10:28am / Health

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

by Jackassed / 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML

by ryansmithho / 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

by snapped / 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money