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Iknoweverything

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Iknoweverything
  • Town/Country : Somewhere, Yonder
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 November 1980 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 1557
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 104 posted

About Iknoweverything : 1)My username was made because I believe in looking up thoughts before stating them as fact. Yes, I know I don't know everything. Clearly it was a bad choice, and I can't change it, so get over it.
2)Life is not black or white. You may see things one way, I may see it completely different. This does not make one of us wrong, but rather offers different perspectives. Most people on here don't seem to understand that. Just because you have a gut feeling doesn't mean it's right.
3)I don't believe "you're a dumbass" is a valid rebuttal. If you think I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong. Attacking me because you disagree is merely fallacious. (It's called the ad hominem fallacy)
4)"Break up with the jerk" and "Quit your job" is nice in theory. In reality, OP's may love their jerks, and probably have bills to pay.
5)I rarely read responses to my comments. If you wish to insult me, hit me up on the private messenger. I need entertainment.

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Iknoweverything's FML badges

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

One ring to rule them all

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Iknoweverything's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32624) - you deserved it (4782)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (5802)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (5802)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home to my mom dancing the hustle naked. With a group of 4 friends. FML

#17117147
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (2564)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by SCREWED (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (4471)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29231) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (2304)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you deserved it (42742)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44001) - you deserved it (3610)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25858) - you deserved it (10788)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48136) - you deserved it (3252)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56903) - you deserved it (2685)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (3994)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45443) - you deserved it (13597)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -



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