About Iknoweverything : 1)My username was made because I believe in looking up thoughts before stating them as fact. Yes, I know I don't know everything. Clearly it was a bad choice, and I can't change it, so get over it.
2)Life is not black or white. You may see things one way, I may see it completely different. This does not make one of us wrong, but rather offers different perspectives. Most people on here don't seem to understand that. Just because you have a gut feeling doesn't mean it's right.
3)I don't believe "you're a dumbass" is a valid rebuttal. If you think I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong. Attacking me because you disagree is merely fallacious. (It's called the ad hominem fallacy)
4)"Break up with the jerk" and "Quit your job" is nice in theory. In reality, OP's may love their jerks, and probably have bills to pay.
5)I rarely read responses to my comments. If you wish to insult me, hit me up on the private messenger. I need entertainment.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (7074)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my GPS told me that I'd reached my destination. In the middle of the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19381) - you deserved it (3549)
On 09/05/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (1636)
On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (4129)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31946) - you deserved it (2488)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20255) - you deserved it (7661)
On 08/16/2011 at 11:00am - misc - by bursteardrums (woman) - United Kingdom (Devon)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (8539)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (2118)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17778) - you deserved it (2614)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21797) - you deserved it (6054)
On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States
Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23396) - you deserved it (2442)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (1700)
On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9517) - you deserved it (49804)
On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, someone had the unique opportunity to be able to say to me, "Excuse me, your pants are on fire." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (3991)
On 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm - health - by smokin (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35260) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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