Iknoweverything

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Offline (the 04/29/2014 at 12:16am)

Iknoweverything

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 November 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5292
  • Number of comments : 421
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 108 posted

About Iknoweverything : 1)My username was made because I believe in looking up thoughts before stating them as fact. Yes, I know I don't know everything. Clearly it was a bad choice, and I can't change it, so get over it.
2)Life is not black or white. You may see things one way, I may see it completely different. This does not make one of us wrong, but rather offers different perspectives. Most people on here don't seem to understand that. Just because you have a gut feeling doesn't mean it's right.
3)I don't believe "you're a dumbass" is a valid rebuttal. If you think I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong. Attacking me because you disagree is merely fallacious. (It's called the ad hominem fallacy)
4)"Break up with the jerk" and "Quit your job" is nice in theory. In reality, OP's may love their jerks, and probably have bills to pay.
5)I rarely read responses to my comments. If you wish to insult me, hit me up on the private messenger. I need entertainment.

Iknoweverything's page activity

Visits<b>EvilKaa</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:22am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:13am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 12:31pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>Whovian42</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 9:42pm<b>Kroyt</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 5:59pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:14pm<b>dbyrne20</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:16pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:55am<b>melons</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:36pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 12:34pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:48am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 3:49pm<b>hatebreeder666</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:58am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:19pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Stormcloak</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:22am<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:10am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 3:56am

Iknoweverything's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Iknoweverything's badges

Iknoweverything's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

by TTR / 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

by Username / 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called ugly and viciously ridiculed by a couple of teenage girls. They were wearing uggs and vests that made them look like a freak-show of bleached pomeranians. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

by duped / 10/29/2011 at 7:32am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 1:43am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 9:48pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

by Eet- / 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Love

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

by ItaliczZz / 10/12/2011 at 4:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous