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Iknoweverything

Offline (the 04/29/2014 at 12:16am) | Search for a member

Iknoweverything

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 November 1980 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2866
  • Number of comments : 421
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 108 posted

About Iknoweverything : 1)My username was made because I believe in looking up thoughts before stating them as fact. Yes, I know I don't know everything. Clearly it was a bad choice, and I can't change it, so get over it.
2)Life is not black or white. You may see things one way, I may see it completely different. This does not make one of us wrong, but rather offers different perspectives. Most people on here don't seem to understand that. Just because you have a gut feeling doesn't mean it's right.
3)I don't believe "you're a dumbass" is a valid rebuttal. If you think I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong. Attacking me because you disagree is merely fallacious. (It's called the ad hominem fallacy)
4)"Break up with the jerk" and "Quit your job" is nice in theory. In reality, OP's may love their jerks, and probably have bills to pay.
5)I rarely read responses to my comments. If you wish to insult me, hit me up on the private messenger. I need entertainment.

Iknoweverything's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:19pm<b>abattior</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 10:40pm<b>cjsparrow96</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:52am<b>max5692</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:33am<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:08pm<b>thisguy184</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 7:52pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 6:30am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 10:24pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:37am<b>hexblot</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:51am<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:32am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 2:48am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:36pm<b>kjack49044</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 7:12am<b>Mornai</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 7:39pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 2:47am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 1:59am<b>quackImapenguin</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 7:02pm

Iknoweverything's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Iknoweverything's badges

Iknoweverything's favorite FMLs

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

#19328317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (4149)

On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25974) - you deserved it (6762)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21807) - you deserved it (3290)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29105) - you deserved it (9274)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML

#19118212
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (3493)

On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (39167)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22591) - you deserved it (2570)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11003) - you deserved it (87404)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

#18460196
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (4483)

On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6387) - you deserved it (48280)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (3124)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (11597)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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