About Iknoweverything : 1)My username was made because I believe in looking up thoughts before stating them as fact. Yes, I know I don't know everything. Clearly it was a bad choice, and I can't change it, so get over it.
2)Life is not black or white. You may see things one way, I may see it completely different. This does not make one of us wrong, but rather offers different perspectives. Most people on here don't seem to understand that. Just because you have a gut feeling doesn't mean it's right.
3)I don't believe "you're a dumbass" is a valid rebuttal. If you think I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong. Attacking me because you disagree is merely fallacious. (It's called the ad hominem fallacy)
4)"Break up with the jerk" and "Quit your job" is nice in theory. In reality, OP's may love their jerks, and probably have bills to pay.
5)I rarely read responses to my comments. If you wish to insult me, hit me up on the private messenger. I need entertainment.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24367) - you deserved it (3292)
On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13402) - you deserved it (1269)
On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14393) - you deserved it (1452)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17049) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15165) - you deserved it (1517)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6335) - you deserved it (21931)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (3752)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:54pm - love - by mista_sandy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9914) - you deserved it (27618)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (18802)
On 04/03/2012 at 2:19pm - kids - by potatoebee - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25266) - you deserved it (1674)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (2946)
On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (910)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16219) - you deserved it (2316)
On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I found out that my desk is perfectly placed so that my boss can shoot me with a Nerf gun from his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20730) - you deserved it (2524)
On 02/19/2012 at 9:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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