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Idyedmyhairblack

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Idyedmyhairblack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 14283
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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Idyedmyhairblack's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39770) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35066) - you deserved it (2286)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (177678) - you deserved it (61411)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

#55146
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44007) - you deserved it (5942)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by manda (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I lost 200 dollars while playing poker with my new sunglasses. Turns out you can see the cards in the reflection. FML

#52319
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9458) - you deserved it (59961)

On 02/16/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by jwz (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29740) - you deserved it (7961)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML

#48148
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56251) - you deserved it (16192)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a fastfood restaurant to pick up food for my work party. I ordered 250 chicken fingers, 15 orders of fries, and 2 gallons of tea, and the guy behind the counter asked, "Is this for here or to go?" FML

#47427
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (5088)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:27pm - misc - by efffmylife - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (4391)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (3318)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (5568)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44587) - you deserved it (4496)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134299) - you deserved it (37234)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

#26905
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48450) - you deserved it (4821)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

#24685
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (3224)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:59am - misc - by ADD (man) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)



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