About IdfkMyUsernamexC : Fuck society.
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IdfkMyUsernamexC's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML
by alexo / 05/23/2012 at 11:52am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
by penny-dropping / 04/16/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Animals
by Scabby / 04/11/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Pimpleeater / 12/20/2011 at 2:45am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids
Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML
by Embarrassed / 12/12/2011 at 8:45am / Germany (Bayern) / Love
Today, our school started an anti-bullying policy, and we watched a video about bullying. After the video, I told a teacher about a bullying case going on that I know about. His response? "Tell someone who cares" as he walked away chuckling. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2011 at 12:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
by bribreeeeeezyfreshhh / 12/06/2010 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by vanessa_d15 / 11/09/2009 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
by Moody / 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic… Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets… Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize…